Sunday, March 20, 2011

Not alone... and feeling surprisingly hopeful

Feeling sassy and cute with my second-day "going out" hair (ladies you know what I'm talkin' about... the kind of hair that looks tousled and voluminous - like you didn't sleep alone last night!  Don't worry Mom and Dad, Chloe the dog is the only one I cuddled with), I enter a surprisingly crowded Starbucks in Willoughby.  Of course I order my usual: Grande Non-fat Caramel Macchiato - I am a creature of habit.   

My macchiato and I find a quaint table for two with Frank Sinatra (love my coffee with a shot of rat pack).  My initial scan reveals a cute girl with her laptop and many text books (boy I wish we had wireless when I was in college!), couples who look like they've just come from church, and a few older gentlemen reading their newspapers.  Slim pickin's today in the cute 30-something guy market!  But I have sassy hair, good reading material and a great latte so I'm cool.

A blond bombshell walks in with her "don't you hate that I woke up looking this good" look, and suddenly I'm not feeling cute nor sassy.  "This is why I'm single," I think... because girls like that ruin it for the rest of us.  But am I really single because girls like that exist, or because of the way I feel about myself when I see them?  Probably the later, I'm assuming... note to self: I might not look like that, but I look natural and that's a good thing.  No joke, no sooner had I come to this new revelation and Aretha Franklin belts out "You make me feel like a natural woman."  How apropo.

Just when I think I'm not going to observe anything interesting, I realize that a blind date is taking place right before my very eyes at the table about 8 feet away.  They are approximately in their late 40's.  I don't overhear how they met but my guess is - that seems to be the default these days.  He is wearing a sweatshirt (wtf?) and she is wearing a very nice sparkly top (probably not right for Starbucks but she more than likely bought it specifically for this date in her excitement - I've been there).  They're exchanging the usual chit-chat (family, jobs, etc.) and she is soooo not into him.  In fact, she looks a tad disappointed.  She goes to the restroom and doesn't come back for 10 minutes.  Not a good sign buddy.  I've been to this Starbucks, many times, and there's never ever a long line in the women's room.  It's not a concert, it's Starbucks. 

When she returns, she says she needs to get going and he asks to see her again.  Her response: "ummmm... I don't know, maybe.  But thanks for the coffee." I think I just heard his heart snap in two.  He gets up and shakes her hand... a HAND SHAKE?  Wow, this is worse than I thought!  And of course, he shocks her with such a strong bolt of static electricity that I heard it.  Yikes!  He then makes a ridiculously cheesy comment about her being electrifying... Dude... Really?  This is why you're single.  She nervously laughs and looks at me like, "help!"  I shoot her a knowing smile from behind my macchiato, because again, I've so been there.  And I realize I'm not alone.  There are millions of great single women everywhere.  With this insight and new sense of hopefulness, I head to the mall to treat myself to some fabulous goodies from Victoria's Secret.

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